What Do You Do...
When You Want To Escape, But You can't?
Stacey Lunsford Copyright 2004
What do you do...when you want to free yourself, you know those times when you want to get away from it all...the hussle and bustle of every day life?
What do you do...when you want to be from the captivity of parenthood and the confinement of responsibility?
What do you do...when you need an exit but can't find that open door?
What do you do...when you want to walk out of your front door and forget your "responsibilities" that have a name? Cedric, Tamar and Brandon...as loveable and huggable as they are...I need an escape,
it doesn't have to be far!
What do you do...when the pain is so deep, the hurt is so bad...raising 3 children alone?
What do you do...when the father is not around and you constantly get knocked down to the ground because he broke his promise...
and didn't keep his word?
Like a jelly donut without the jelly..I feel empty inside. Like a tree in the winter standing empty without it's leaves, I stand alone, raising my children...trying to make a happy home...
What do you do...when you constantly sacrifice you know...(give up something for the sake of something else) you give up something that is dear to you?...you lay it on the altar because it's not about you...it's about the "emotional, mental and social stability of your children!"
What do you do...when dad is too self absorbed "doing his thing"...neglecting "his" responsibility?
I tell you what you do...laying aside every weight and desire, you humble yourself and you do what you do..."you handle your business"...
Basketball Mon. & Tues....Track Tues. & Thurs...Karate & drumming on Fridays, STOP...HOLD UP & WAIT A MINUTE...because I am tired....tired of trying...not to make up for the void that "dad" has left behind but trying to "fill" that void with positives things.
Providing a positive outlet for my children, to release all of the negatives things that they feel inside...running here and running there, silently I cry...I need an escape
Feelings of anger, bitterness and rage...somebody please help me to get off of this page...this chapter of my life...I want it end...
What do you do...when you place your sacrifice on the altar, you know...that thing that was dear to you...that thing that was precious to you...has died?
Being a wise woman...I let that thing "die" so that it can be "resurrected" in the newness of life. Through the fire...is the path for my escape....
I repented for wanting to leave last night and I told God how I feelRaising 3 kids alone isn't easy...but it's something that I have been ordained to do...because by God's grace & God's mercy...I am doing it.
Please pray my strength in the Lord today...
Eloquently Speaking,
Stacey Lunsford
